Matt Higgins, absent since week one, came back with a vengeance. Claiming a myriad of excuses, including throwing away his spikes, Higgins appeared eager to make up for lost time.
A rare drop for Higgins.
Although starting a bit slow, probably due to his adjusting to the new 'Wam 2-4 defensive alignment (2 kids, 4 adults), Higgins found his stride at the halfway point hauling in passes from both his own quarterback and the opposing team's.
Higgins, the only player from the 90's draft to show up, proved that middle age can indeed be sweet.
Letting Go
The ride back from the 'Wam was a little bittersweet.After remarking that it was nice to have so many younger players (nine were 14-years-old and under) and witness the return of Square Toe winner Matt Higgins, I added that I'd wished to see Matt Corbett.
My son's response: "When are you going to realize that he's not going to show up? Let it go, dad."
Such wisdom, coming from my teenage son, was a little hard to take. But it also reminded me of other fantasies I've had trouble letting go of: a certain love for a high school cheerleader, my vision of driving harness horses at The Meadowlands, kicking for the New England Patriots. Now, I need to add to that list Matt Corbett showing up at the 'Wam.
It's been difficult to let go, but this video helped:
Higgins Receives the Square Toe Award
With a polished acceptance speech like this, it's clear that Higgins has been in training for months. Training to give a speech, that is...
'Wam Media (click on any picture to see a larger version)
Matt Higgins, obscured, right, prepares to snag one of his interceptions.
Soehren eyes a sure interception...
...but Jay Burns pulls in the reception
Tri-Mascotted Mark Soehren prepares to knock a pass away from Jay Burns.
Higgins, tagged by his own player, tacks on some yardage after an interception.
The pass, headed for an apparently open Teddy Burns, will be intercepted by a hidden Higgins (only his leg is in view).
More yardage for Higgins.
A picture that should be shared with Atticus Soehren's entire 3rd grade classroom.
Ty LeBlond prepares to sack Mark Soehren.
LeBlond recieves an extremely high-five from Jay Burns.
The ball, up for grabs, will be pulled in by no one.
Waterford Football at the 'Wam sprinted into the modern era with the use of a digital replay on a controversial interception made by Toby Heath. The play was set up by a devastatingly hard rush by Christopher Burns on his uncle Jay Burns. Rolling to his right, quarterback Burns attempted to thread the needle to Eli Soehren. Heath jumped the route, however, making what appeared to be an interception but AFTER stepping our of bounds.
Ball secured and in-bounds, Heath steps out of bounds.
Lacking any red flags, players on the sideline started tossing grey sweatshirts, yellow scrimmage jerseys and random travel mugs onto the field signalling the need for a review of the play. As luck would have it, there were enough players for subs (a once-a-month occurrence) and Brewster Burns had camera in hand and got the shot that overturned the ruling on the field, making it a clean interception.
Dew Factor Science
Dew scientologist Pat Paine watches the action.
For those wondering how the Dew Factor is determined, one need look no further than the cuffs of Pat Paine's jeans. The formula is simple:( inches from hem fabric is wet) + (inches of hem from ground * 2).
Parenting Schmarenting
Eli Soehren getting negative 2 of his negative 5 yards.
In move that can only be called brilliant, Mark Soehren relinquished all parental duties concerning his son, Eli (5 receptions for minus 5 yards). Determining that any words from his mouth were worthless in the eyes of his son, Soehren turned over all coaching duties to Jay Burns, who dubbed the method the "Rule Buddy" system. While certainly a clever solution, one wonders what exchanges from the past might never had been heard from previous father-son conflicts: "Run the f***ing route" -- Hank Burns to Jay Burns, or "Catch the f***ing ball" -- Brewster Burns to Christopher Burns. While clearly the "Rule Buddy" system might technically work, it may be too boring to sustain.
Layering
Matt Higgins stays warm at the Fryburg Fair
While most 'Wam veterans know the key to comfort in the fall is to layer one's clothing, 'Wam veteran Matt Higgins and proprietor of Muddy River Signs, who has no appearances in 2011, layers his excuses. While we have photographic evidence of one of his excuses ("I have to work the Fryburg fair") the other ("I threw away my cleats") seem a bit suspect. Higgins swears he'll make a 'Wam appearance soon. Although that may be as likely as seeing Matt Corbett...
Bring a Friend Day 2011
Jay Burns explain to a disbelieving Scott
Bourget that the line that previously existed,
is no longer there. "We don't see it, because it no longer matters."
Mac LeBlong appears shocked at the quality
of the block thrown by Christopher Burns
With the addition of Marc LeBlond, Scott Bourget and Sam Iggulden, the 2011 season has had more newcomers than any year since Mike Brennan and Steve Labossiere joined in in 1989.
While the game had to be delayed 20 minutes for the usual 'Wam rule orientation, the extra players foreshadows a strong 'Wam future. With the newcomers, the 'Wam saw 19 players Sunday, the most since the the days of Face Martin.
It's Pronounced "Soarin'"
If rewriting the book on parenting wasn't enough, Mark Soehren captured the Square Toe honors with a two-interception performance:
The Participants
'Wam Media
Professional route-jumper Chris Bryant looks to haul in an interception.
Steve Labossiere rooster-tails the dew with a very happy Toby Heath doing some run-support.
Eli Soerhen erases some negative yardage with a post "Rule Buddy" catch-and-run.
Pat Paine forces pocket-passer Ted Tibbetts to move.
Varied loyalties scattered about his clothing, Mark "Soarin'" puts on the pressure.
Kate Soehren should be proud. Not of her husband, who stayed home on the couch nursing a ouchy ankle, but of her son Atticus who turned in a 'Wam performance for the ages. Joining the likes of Pete Sampras, Willis Reed and Kurt Gibson, Soehren turned aside multiple injuries to capture week three Square Toe honors.
What makes the week so impressive was not the injuries he sustained during the game, but the injury he overcame from the previous week. Although overlooked by this writer and hidden by Soehren's stoic nature, an ankle injury was sustained in week two (see photo, below):
Soehren explained that he was an unlikely starter for week three -- he had tried a brace during a mid-week workout with his brother only to find that the brace actually worsened the pain.
A Sunday appearance seemed impossible until Soehren turned to his mother, a veterinarian, over a bowl of Cheerios. It was clear that a brace was not the answer, so Eli Soehren, Kate Soehren and Atticus Soehren sat down and brainstormed options (Mark Soehren was on the couch watching a riveting episode of American Pickers). Kate Soehren explained: "We asked ourselves, ‘Do we perform surgery to repair it, which would end the season for him? Or is there something else we can do?’"
They decided they weren’t ready to call it a season, and Kate Soehren began kicking around an idea. "After looking at a couple of MRIs, I felt that maybe we could build a dermal wall by suturing his skin to the periosteal layer of his fibula," she explained. "The hope was that a wall between the tendon and the groove wouldn’t allow the tendon to slip. I did it once for a potbellied pig who had trouble walking before the procedure. When I was done, he could sidle up to the trough with the best of them."
It didn’t take much to get Atticus Soehren on board with the idea. "I pulled Atticus aside and spoke to him privately," says Kate. "I’d never say anything in front of his brother that may sound like a solution if Atticus doesn’t first agree to the idea of an invasive procedure. Atticus is a very thoughtful kid—he did a lot of research and understood the anatomy and the options, and for him it was a no-brainer. He said, ‘Let’s go!’"
The rest is history.
The Birth Certificate Issue Didn't End With Obama
Waterford Football at the 'Wam enjoyed its first foreign born player in Sam Iggulden who hails from Australia. Iggulden, who played rugby Down Under explained during a 'Wam briefing session on the ride over that blocking would prove to be the biggest difficulty as blocking in Rugby is illegal. Needless to say, Sunday morning saw no opportunities for this weakness to be exposed as the last time a block was effectively thrown at the 'Wam was in the mid-90's.
Had Iggulden thrown any effective blocks, Fox News would have been called and picket signs with "Down and Out YES!, Down Under NO!" & "God Bless America and the 'Wam" would have lined the sidelines in future weeks.
It should be noted, despite the briefing session and the claim of reviewing the rushing rules on the 'Wam web site, Iggulden violated foundational rushing rule #1 by crossing the line of scrimmage before the count of three in an attempt to cover a lateral. And they claim Belichick's schemes are complex...
Week Three Media
The 'Wam blog apologizes for the lack of pictures as we were one person short and the staff photographer had to play full time. Apparently, there were no former full-scholarship college quarterbacks from the South Dakota Coyotes who could have come and stood still in the pocket throwing passes against a first-grader rush. Granted, the first-grader may be faster than the staff photographer, but...I'm just sayin'.
The Participants
Atticus Soehren, center, the anti-Mark, proudly displays the pain he played through.
Square Toe Award Atticus Soehren, with no Kryptonite in sight, accepts the Square Toe Award:
While down two week-one participants, the return of Chris Easton and Chris Gordon allowed week two at the 'Wam to open with another 6-on-6 match-up -- something that hasn't happened since the mid-1990's. Two plays later, it was down to 5-on-5.
Mike Brennan (quad) was sidelined while attempting to cover a complex Tibbett's-designed crossing pattern and Mark Soehren (ankle) hobbled to the sideline after, well, taking a step.
Soehren and Brennan joined others on the injury list: Bobby Strauss (bruised finger), Kris Wright (strained back), Steve Labossiere (messed up priorities), Ted Tibbetts (Hamstring) and Hank Burns (stroke).
While the training room has been busy, the injuries will require some players to come up from the practice squad (Corbett & Paine) to fill out this week's roster.
Honestly?
Chris Bryant, by far the fastest three-count rusher in 'Wam history (implying a cheating heart) proved, as Bill Clinton did, that the human soul is far more complex than it appears. In the sequence below one can clearly see what appears to be a legal tag:
However, closer examination indicates otherwise:
A lesser man, and most people at 'Wam, would have claimed a legal tag (see "Diver's Prerogative" in The Rules). Bryant, clearly a good, honest man, stayed mute, allowing Jay Burns to be chased down by a third grader:
Square Toe Award
Ted Burns garnered Square Toe honors with a strong finish to the day. Despite grumblings from his Hebron cousin (heard in the background of the trophy presentation) Burns' all-purpose yardage, key completions and a touchdown pass locked up the week-two award:
'Wam Pics
Jay Burns shows off his memorabilia.
The emotionless, disinterested Soehren brothers square off.
Add your own caption.
New rule: adults must tag both ankles of first graders.
Teddy Burns proves 3.1 miles isn't his only distance.
Eli Soehren burns his older brother; the favor was returned later in the day when the elder Atticus smoked his brother on a one-dollar race to retrieve Jay Burns' sunglasses.
Ted Burns dodges a glove thrown by a disgruntled cousin during his acceptance of the Square Toe Award.
Dew Factor: 9
'Wam Veteran We Were Most Happy Wasn't In Attendance: Matt Corbett (there was a church gathering that surely wouldn't have appreciated the 9:45 f-bomb)
Waterford Football at the 'Wam opened in historic fashion featuring an opening-day 6-on-6 matchup, something not seen since the late 90's. The renewed vigor of 'Wam football has clearly been caused by the stone-cold infusion of young blood with a full one-half of the players under the age of 15 and one-third under the age of 11.
The Participants
It's All One Big Circle
When Kris Wright crossed the Mutiny Brook bridge wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, 'Wam veterans assumed that they would be in for a break, allowing for some limited substitution from the 6-on-6 battle they were in. After all, the veterans well knew that jeans were proper attire for 'Wam football -- and not from the exploits of modern-day Pat Paine, but from the early 1990's when Glen Wright, Kris's father, perfected the art of making jeans work for all-athletic wear:
Alas, they were mistaken as the younger Wright has been placed on the injured reserve with an undisclosed back injury.
Field-Gate
The pristine condition of the 'Wam playing fields prompted rumors about the use of funds donated in honor of the Camp's 100th anniversary. While those funds were probably intended to help unfortunate campers, some questioned whether funds were improperly diverted to professional turf farms. Officials refused to comment.
Mike Brennan is to a dislocated shoulder as Teddy Bruschi is to a stroke
Showing that hard work in the off-season is the solution to any injury, Mike Brennan proved critics wrong when he ripped off an impressive opening-day performance, easily receiving the Square Toe Award:
Dew Factor: 0 or 10, depending if you count snow as dew...
After the regular November layoff, 'Wam football ended the year on Sunday, November 28th, 2010. While Mike Balsam did not show up, Jay Tilley finally did, bringing with him a slice of the past.
Signature Phrase
We should all have one. Who has one? Jay Tilley.
The phrase echoed as Tilley was playing defense and the ball floated his way. Before he intercepted the ball, he shouted, "Hey now!" I hadn't heard the phrase in many years, but can tell you where I remember hearing it before: Just as the pitcher wheeled to second base, picking off the runner and getting him in a rundown. Who received the ball? Jay Tilley, the second baseman. Ball in mid-air, he shouted, "Hey now!"
While simple, the phrase carries layers of meaning. On the simplest level, it means, "something good's about to happen." On a more sophisticated level, it also means, "I'm going to MAKE something happen."
I knew that. Christopher Burns, Tilley's co-defender, did not.
After intercepting the ball, Tilley deked right, jumped left, and flipped the ball behind his back to Burns, who simply watched it drop to the ground. Un-schooled in Tilleyisms, he did not recognized the opportunity that was about to be afforded him.
In Memorium
Though many players have contributed to the quirky style of touch football we play at Wigwam today (most notably Bobby Strauss, and his touches of wit and humanity), the brand itself was born on the Salem Commons in the 1950s, and its progenitors were brothers Hank, Jere, and Bill Burns. Last December, Jere Burns passed away at the age of 82.
Please note from the video clips below, that the fast count has a rich history.
Rule Changes Required Hank Burns, who on some of the slower 'Wam days has been genetically responsible for a full 5/8ths of the players, suffered a stroke in June. While the recovery has been swift so far, there will be two major rule changes when Hank is rushing: 1) The rusher no longer has to count -- the quarterback does -- to 30; 2) Before each snap, the quarterback must drop a hula hoop to the ground and keep both feet in the circle until the ball is thrown.
If anyone was surprised that Jay Tilley didn't show up when he said he would, well -- shame on you. In fact, shame on all 11 of you who believed Tilley to be most likely to show up in last week's poll.
The gauntlet had been thrown down in the preceeding blog: "Tilley, who has a long standing reputation as a dink only has one week to uphold that distinction." To his credit, Tilley orchestrated an operation that clearly designated him as the dink to beat.
While everyone expected Tilley to prove his worthiness (or lack thereof) by showing up and throwing around the usual "Tillyisms" (e.g., "catch-it, drop-it, catch-it, drop-it" as the ball descended towards a receiver) he instead proved, once again, why he's the master: he simply left us hanging.
Tilley, you dink.
Hunter LaBossiere coming out party
Father and son connected on not two, but three touchdowns: two passing and one on a Steve LaBossiere interception of a Hunter LaBossiere defended tip (see video below).
LaBossiere tip to LaBassiere
Hunter Receives the Square Toe Award:
The tale of two huddles: 1993
2010
The Participants:
Missing: Hank Burns -- in transit to a play in Brunswick
Other Pics:
Toby Heath makes one of several catches during a triumphant return to the 'Wam
Ted Tibbetts delivers a rare pass from the pocket
Typical defensive huddle
This huddle breaks the new "Tallest-to-Shortest" rule
Five-person huddle, only two families
A sore Jay Burns (achilles tendon) prowls the defensive backfiel
