Waterford Football at the 'Wam: 21st Century, Here We Come!

Dew Factor:10

Jay Burns, pressured, rolls right.

Waterford Football at the 'Wam sprinted into the modern era with the use of a digital replay on a controversial interception made by Toby Heath. The play was set up by a devastatingly hard rush by Christopher Burns on his uncle Jay Burns. Rolling to his right, quarterback Burns attempted to thread the needle to Eli Soehren. Heath jumped the route, however, making what appeared to be an interception but AFTER stepping our of bounds.

Ball secured and in-bounds, Heath steps out of bounds.

Lacking any red flags, players on the sideline started tossing grey sweatshirts, yellow scrimmage jerseys and random travel mugs onto the field signalling the need for a review of the play. As luck would have it, there were enough players for subs (a once-a-month occurrence) and Brewster Burns had camera in hand and got the shot that overturned the ruling on the field, making it a clean interception.

Dew Factor Science

Dew scientologist Pat Paine watches the action.

For those wondering how the Dew Factor is determined, one need look no further than the cuffs of Pat Paine's jeans. The formula is simple:( inches from hem fabric is wet) + (inches of hem from ground * 2).

Parenting Schmarenting

Eli Soehren getting negative 2 of his negative 5 yards.

In move that can only be called brilliant, Mark Soehren relinquished all parental duties concerning his son, Eli (5 receptions for minus 5 yards). Determining that any words from his mouth were worthless in the eyes of his son, Soehren turned over all coaching duties to Jay Burns, who dubbed the method the "Rule Buddy" system. While certainly a clever solution, one wonders what exchanges from the past might never had been heard from previous father-son conflicts: "Run the f***ing route" -- Hank Burns to Jay Burns, or "Catch the f***ing ball" -- Brewster Burns to Christopher Burns. While clearly the "Rule Buddy" system might technically work, it may be too boring to sustain.

Layering

Matt Higgins stays warm at the Fryburg Fair

While most 'Wam veterans know the key to comfort in the fall is to layer one's clothing, 'Wam veteran Matt Higgins and proprietor of Muddy River Signs, who has no appearances in 2011, layers his excuses. While we have photographic evidence of one of his excuses ("I have to work the Fryburg fair") the other ("I threw away my cleats") seem a bit suspect. Higgins swears he'll make a 'Wam appearance soon. Although that may be as likely as seeing Matt Corbett...

Bring a Friend Day 2011

Jay Burns explain to a disbelieving Scott
Bourget that the line that previously existed,
is no longer there. "We don't see it, because it no longer matters."

Mac LeBlong appears shocked at the quality
of the block thrown by Christopher Burns

With the addition of Marc LeBlond, Scott Bourget and Sam Iggulden, the 2011 season has had more newcomers than any year since Mike Brennan and Steve Labossiere joined in in 1989. While the game had to be delayed 20 minutes for the usual 'Wam rule orientation, the extra players foreshadows a strong 'Wam future. With the newcomers, the 'Wam saw 19 players Sunday, the most since the the days of Face Martin.

It's Pronounced "Soarin'"
If rewriting the book on parenting wasn't enough, Mark Soehren captured the Square Toe honors with a two-interception performance: