Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Dew Factor: 6

Regular Season Ends on Extended Sunday
Due to an unprecedented two cancellations of regular Sundays, the 'Wam season was extended into November for only the second time in 10 years. Proving there was, in fact, pent up demand for the extension, 19 people showed up, although many of the youngsters were lost to the wild, prompting the most sarcastic Square Toe ceremony ever:
New Rule for Upcoming Post-Thanksgiving Snow Bowl
Frank Drigotas, promising to bring sons Ethan and Griffin asked, "just don't put Ethan [who played every game for Bowdoin this year--right]  on the opposite team from me.  He'll make it into this big father-son rivalry deal."  The rules committee spent serious time trying to come up with the appropriate variables, patterns and algorithms to deal with the request, but could only spit out a brand new rule, henceforth to be known as the "You-made-'em-you-cover-'em" rule which stipulates that in any man-to-man coverage, progeny must be covered by progenitor.  While controversial, the rule will force most defenses to use the zone, preferably the "soft, childlike zone" into which Brewster Burns likes to throw his passes.

The Camp Wigwam Experience
By Ted Burns (Special to the 'Wam Blog)

       Autumn used to be just another season to me, nothing special. But once I turned nine, all of that changed when I started going to Camp Wigwam in Waterford on Sundays to play touch football with my dad, his friends, plus a few choice relatives. Because of the traditions, fun, and nostalgia that make up the Camp Wigwam experience, autumn has become my favorite season.
Steve LaBossiere finally got his priorities right and
showed up clearly a little spooked as he feared a bit hit.
        On a regular Sunday my dad and I stumble out of bed at seven o’ clock to pull on our sweatpants, Patriots jerseys, sweatshirts and caps to be ready to hit the road at seven thirty. Before we’re on the road long though, the first of many traditions begins. We stop off at a gas station, no different from any others, and pick up our “breakfast.” I put “breakfast” in quotation marks because what we get can hardly be called a traditional breakfast. I usually get Pop-tarts (S’mores, yum!) and a bottle of Oakhurst orange juice, and my dad gets one of those Hostess Fruit Pies.
        As we settle back into the car, I take a bite out of my Pop-tart and a swig of my orange juice. While the Pop-tart is a sweet pastry delight, the orange juice makes me gag. Oakhurst makes the worst juice. It’s always too bitter. Why then, why do I keep getting it? Tradition.
Ted Tibbetts, the Wes Welker of 'Wam,
catches another one over the middle.
       Camp Wigwam is a secluded camp surrounded by towering oak, maple and pine trees. It also has a lake (Bear Pond), a basketball court, a baseball field, a tennis court, a badminton court, and, of course, a football field. As we drive down the long road that leads to the parking area, I gaze up at the lush green leaves and needles, knowing that they will soon be in a vibrant shade of yellow, orange and red.
Atticus Soehren practicing the dangerous crossing route.
       After my dad parks his convertible next to the other cars, after I will my legs to begin moving again, the fun finally begins. My dad has an energetic, friendly group of friends that are constantly telling in-jokes and teasing one another. "Hey Christopher! This week will be all jump passes!" Thump. The energy is infectious and I find myself laughing at many of the jokes, even if I don’t always understand them. But now everyone is gradually heading down the rocky path to the football field. So after I inhale the crisp autumn air one last time and wedge my foot into the cleats that are too small for my growing feet; I head clack clack clack down to the field.
       After crossing a bridge, the narrow path opens up to a huge field surrounded by the same trees that populated the campground up above, giving a great sense of seclusion. Here, you can forget all your worries and just relax and have fun. After I traverse the dewy grass, the game finally begins.
Cousin Clipping Cousin
       Since we usually have an attendance of only about ten people, we have to play a slightly edited version of the classic game of football, but it still works. The field is also modified as the only markings it has is the first down line and the touchdown line. The games we play are always fun, but they never get too competitive as there is a lot of laughs and chatter between plays. The lack of hardcore competition is also good because that way, no matter the level of skill, everyone always gets the ball thrown to them at least once. That way, you can know for sure that you’ll get that exhilarating rush of energy that comes with catching the ball and sprinting down-field.
Classic tag -- could be a image for the Wikipedia entry
for "Touch Football (American)," which has no decent picture.
       One of the cool things about the group at Camp Wigwam is that there really is a sense of family. Many of my dad’s friends bring their own children, which reminds me of when my cousin and I both started coming at the same age. I often do double-takes and get a little nostalgic when I hear one of the adults giving little mini-football lessons to the younger kids, as I had heard those exact same lessons when I was nine. “Okay, when I toss you the ball, I want you to really GRAB the ball, don’t just catch it, GRAB it.” “Now, make sure when you’re counting you aren’t crossing the line. Don’t worry too much because everyone’s done it....” These kids are actually really good, and can often be depended on to complete important plays, and can usually keep up with the fast pace of the game.
       After our game, the whole group assembles on a couple of rickety old benches to pose for our traditional weekly picture. It’s really interesting to go through the picture albums and see the differences between years. Oh look, that was that year I had that stupid haircut! Oh! And that was the year I had those giant gaps between my teeth!
Had it been caught, might have garnered Square Toe honors
and avoided the sarcastic, ironic ramblings of Jay Burns.
       After the picture one of the funniest traditions ensues. Every week, we give out something called “The Square Toe Award.” The Square Toe goes to the player with the best performance of the week, and is recorded via video camera. The award itself is called The Square Toe because it’s actually just a musty old tattered cleat that happens to have a (get ready for it) square toe. Once we’ve all had a good laugh, everyone piles back into their trucks, vans, and other assorted vehicles to head home.
The Participants
       I always especially relish the homebound journey. There’s always the nice feeling of “Now that I’ve actually done some physical activity today, I can take the rest of the day off!” Usually I take the time during the hour and a half drive to get some good reading done, or take a nap. For me, naps never come easily, but when I’m in a car (or any other moving vehicle for that matter) all bets are off. Somewhere in my subconscious I’m reminded of the homework I have to get done, and the dastardly Monday that is appearing on my horizon. But for now I’m going to dive into the next chapter of The Hunger Games and let the heat of the autumn sun slowly lull me into sleep.
Mr. Cool
       Each part of these Sunday mornings is integral to the entire Camp Wigwam experience, and without them all this day would not be nearly as treasured or coveted as it is today. As I’ve said before, Camp Wigwam has made me love autumn, and I think I’ve figured out why. Camp Wigwam has forced me to be thrust into the heart of this season, giving me no choice but to enjoy every aspect of this part of the year.
       If Camp Wigwam was during summer, spring, or winter, I would have no doubt concerning whether that season was my favorite. But that’s just the power of this place. The fact that there is something as sentimentally powerful as Camp Wigwam in my life is a blessing, and I hope it remains that way for years to come.

More 'Wam Media

Classic 'Wam, lots of
huddle pointing here...
...and here...
...and here.

Pure speed...by Corbett? Who is 5 yards behind Tibbetts...

...but makes the tag.


Bobby Strauss makes it 35 years-in-a-row of successful completions.


For you rookies out there, it's called "sitting down in the zone"
and no one since Ivan has done it better than Matt Corbett.

An mascott-less Mark Soehren reaches is the make the play.
Pat Paine reaches...

Matt Corbett bobbles...

...nearly does a Tyree...

...and pulls in the TD.

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Broadband Edition

Dew Factor: 10

This week's blog is, except for this and the Dew Factor, all media. Enjoy the 'Wam Routines video in stunning HD.

The Young Guns
Gawain Tibbetts

Eli Soehren
Sam Bourget
Ty LeBlond
Atticus Soehren

'Wam Routines


The Pics
The Participants (notice Matt Corbett who's showing up had nothing to do with guilt or peer pressure).

Notice she's not asking for the J5V kid's football like some other kids I know do.

One Square Toe recipient on the turf, the other YACing

Di-Mascotted Mark Soehren throws a TD to Matt Higgins (not in picture -- only the burned defender is in the picture).

Killer rush on the way.

Soehren to Burns, but short of a TD.

The man is everywhere.

The Square Toe Ceremony and Sour Grapes

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Sign Of Things To Come

Due Factor: 5

Matt Higgins, absent since week one, came back with a vengeance. Claiming a myriad of excuses, including throwing away his spikes, Higgins appeared eager to make up for lost time.
 
A rare drop for Higgins.

Although starting a bit slow, probably due to his adjusting to the new 'Wam 2-4 defensive alignment (2 kids, 4 adults), Higgins found his stride at the halfway point hauling in passes from both his own quarterback and the opposing team's.

Higgins, the only player from the 90's draft to show up, proved that middle age can indeed be sweet.

Letting Go
The ride back from the 'Wam was a little bittersweet. After remarking that it was nice to have so many younger players (nine were 14-years-old and under) and witness the return of Square Toe winner Matt Higgins, I added that I'd wished to see Matt Corbett.

My son's response: "When are you going to realize that he's not going to show up?  Let it go, dad."

Such wisdom, coming from my teenage son, was a little hard to take.  But it also reminded me of other fantasies I've had trouble letting go of: a certain love for a high school cheerleader, my vision of driving harness horses at The Meadowlands, kicking for the New England Patriots.  Now, I need to add to that list Matt Corbett showing up at the 'Wam.

It's been difficult to let go, but this video helped:


Higgins Receives the Square Toe Award
With a polished acceptance speech like this, it's clear that Higgins has been in training for months.  Training to give a speech, that is...



'Wam Media (click on any picture to see a larger version)
Matt Higgins, obscured, right, prepares to snag one of his interceptions.
Soehren eyes a sure interception...
...but Jay Burns pulls in the reception

Tri-Mascotted Mark Soehren prepares to knock a pass away from Jay Burns.
Higgins, tagged by his own player, tacks on some yardage after an interception.
The pass, headed for an apparently open Teddy Burns, will be intercepted by a hidden Higgins (only his leg is in view).
More yardage for Higgins.
A picture that should be shared with Atticus Soehren's entire 3rd grade classroom.
Ty LeBlond prepares to sack Mark Soehren.
LeBlond recieves an extremely high-five from Jay Burns.
The ball, up for grabs, will be pulled in by no one.
Jay Burns scrambles, eluding his nephew.
Eli Soerhen eyes a pass.
The participants

Friday, October 14, 2011

21st Century, Here We Come!


Dew Factor:10


Jay Burns, pressured, rolls right.
Waterford Football at the 'Wam sprinted into the modern era with the use of a digital replay on a controversial interception made by Toby Heath.  The play was set up by a devastatingly hard rush by Christopher Burns on his uncle Jay Burns.  Rolling to his right, quarterback Burns attempted to thread the needle to Eli Soehren.  Heath jumped the route, however, making what appeared to be an interception but AFTER stepping our of bounds. 
Ball secured and in-bounds, Heath steps out of bounds.
Lacking any red flags, players on the sideline started tossing grey sweatshirts, yellow scrimmage jerseys and random travel mugs onto the field signalling the need for a review of the play.  As luck would have it, there were enough players for subs (a once-a-month occurrence) and Brewster Burns had camera in hand and got the shot that overturned the ruling on the field, making it a clean interception.

Dew Factor Science
Dew scientologist Pat Paine watches the action.
For those wondering how the Dew Factor is determined, one need look no further than the cuffs of Pat Paine's jeans.  The formula is simple:( inches from hem fabric is wet) + (inches of hem from ground * 2).




Parenting Schmarenting
Eli Soehren getting negative 2 of his negative 5 yards.
In move that can only be called brilliant, Mark Soehren relinquished all parental duties concerning his son, Eli (5 receptions for minus 5 yards).  Determining that any words from his mouth were worthless in the eyes of his son, Soehren turned over all coaching duties to Jay Burns, who dubbed the method the "Rule Buddy" system.  While certainly a clever solution, one wonders what exchanges from the past might never had been heard from previous father-son conflicts: "Run the f***ing route" -- Hank Burns to Jay Burns, or "Catch the f***ing ball" -- Brewster Burns to Christopher Burns.  While clearly the "Rule Buddy" system might technically work, it may be too boring to sustain.

Layering


Matt Higgins stays warm at the Fryburg Fair
While most 'Wam veterans know the key to comfort in the fall is to layer one's clothing, 'Wam veteran Matt Higgins and proprietor of Muddy River Signs, who has no appearances in 2011, layers his excuses.  While we have photographic evidence of one of his excuses ("I have to work the Fryburg fair") the other ("I threw away my cleats") seem a bit suspect.  Higgins swears he'll make a 'Wam appearance soon.  Although that may be as likely as seeing Matt Corbett...

Bring a Friend Day 2011
Jay Burns explain to a disbelieving Scott
Bourget that the line that previously existed,
is no longer there.  "We don't see it, because it no longer matters."

Mac LeBlong appears shocked at the quality
of the block thrown by Christopher Burns
With the addition of Marc LeBlond, Scott Bourget and Sam Iggulden, the 2011 season has had more newcomers than any year since Mike Brennan and Steve Labossiere joined in in 1989. While the game had to be delayed 20 minutes for the usual 'Wam rule orientation, the extra players foreshadows a strong 'Wam future.  With the newcomers, the 'Wam saw 19 players Sunday, the most since the the days of Face Martin.











It's Pronounced "Soarin'"
If rewriting the book on parenting wasn't enough,  Mark Soehren captured the Square Toe honors with a two-interception performance:


The Participants


'Wam Media


Professional route-jumper Chris Bryant looks to haul in an interception.
Steve Labossiere rooster-tails the dew with a very happy Toby Heath doing some run-support.
Eli Soerhen erases some negative yardage with a post "Rule Buddy" catch-and-run.
Pat Paine forces pocket-passer Ted Tibbetts to move.
Varied loyalties scattered about his clothing, Mark "Soarin'" puts on the pressure.