Immigration Reform Heats Up at the 'Wam

As the presidential election approaches, immigration reform once again becomes a focus of attention.  Republicans espouse the need for stronger border enforcement and the use of biometric data to track foreign travelers. Democrats support controversial measures like "The Dream Act" which allows citizenship for children born of illegal immigrants.

While immigration reform is a hot issue on the national stage,  its importance in Maine is slight -- until last Sunday.

On a day that welcomed back older veterans like Matt Corbett and youngsters Eli and Atticus Soehren, as well as newcomer Jesse (soon to have a last name and the only person to where a plaid shirt since Peter Morse), the usual carefree atmosphere of 'Wam was shattered by the announcement that Australian Sam Iggulden won Square Toe honors:

During the week a group of 'Wam veterans convened a secret meeting and allowed reporters to attend only under the condition that no names be released.

"Look, it's bad enough they're taking our jobs -- now they have to take our Square Toe award?" said one 'Wam veteran.  "I mean, c'mon, we call what we wear on our feet 'cleats,' and he calls them 'boots.'

Another veteran added, "His accent is cool and everything, but we work hard every single week and he shows up for the first time and gets the award?  It's not right."

Jay Burns, who selected Iggulden, and who refused to attend the mid-week meeting, commented that maybe the problem isn't with Iggulden:  "I'm not pointing fingers, but the guy spent half the day laying himself out for receptions and interceptions.  Maybe if the others guys weren't taking plays off, they'd be considered."

When asked to comment on Burns' accusations, spokesman for the disgruntled veterans questioned Burns' motives. "The supreme court is about to strike down affirmative action, Romney's going to get elected and shut down the borders, and, besides, Burns works at that liberal fantasy-land Bates College. What's he trying to do? Turn this game upside down?"

When asked for comment, Iggulden took the high road. "Hey, I couldn't even get off the couch when I got home.  I was so sore Monday morning that I had to pull my underwear up with coat-hangers. I think my effort stands for itself."

Last Week's Participants:

The battle resumes in the rain Sunday -- see you there.